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Country:
United States
City:
Doobieville
Joined:
6 years ago
About me:
Day 5 of videos processing. 6 Doritos chips and 1 bottled water left. Forced to ration... I've accepted many friend requests, but beginning to think that they are all in my head. Day 30...Missalice has been hunting me for some time. She does not sleep and I am weary. The island has shown me many hidden locations...perhaps I should take to the sea and signal a passing ship. At this point, a shark attack would seem like mercy...If anyone finds this message, know that the booty is not worth the anguish. Day 50... I have taken to the sea. My raft is very primitive. The sharks seem to favor the smell of Alice's booty over my bleeding wounds. Maybe one day, I will get to see my sweet children again! Day 54... I have escaped her reach. Perhaps she swam back to her island? Also, I saw a volleyball with a red face. He claimed his named was Wilson. I could not reach to save him...He was heading towards Alice's Island... I fear for him. Day 62... Alice had come from the depths of Poseidon's kingdom to end my life. The battle was legendary, yet, tedious. With my last ounce of will power, I shoved a butt plug up her ass. Her screams were heard across the Pacific. Victory, at this moment, is mine! Day 67...I've been given word, by a lonely whale, that Missalice had enjoyed her butt plug, yet, plans to seek revenge against my life. I hope to signal a passing cargo ship before then. Day 80...I have been found by a dumbass who was trying to sail across the Pacific, alone. I struggled to overtake him, but in the end, I prevailed. I am now the captain of the USS Stardust. It's a little gay but whatever... There was an empty wine bottle on board, so I wrote a message and stuck it in it. It reads "9/11 was an inside job". If you find this message, please know that Missalice's booty is still big and juicy. Day 3,534...I have found a new home at Thothub. watch for my signal...
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